This coma

Today I saw nothing but a blank page my life offered,

Filled with bits and pieces of a dot small enough to make death seem like a holiday,

Trying to escape from these ghosts that haunt me,

In this coma I will build my home,

I catch myself glancing each time I sleep

At a human filthy of the stains only a happy life offers,

Life filled with flaky smiles and fading sun-shines,

Life with never ending failures and self doubt,

In this coma I loose sanity faster than water from a well,

I see nothing but darkness in this new place I now call home,
I feel no emotions but small pleasures of being away from the scary world I belong,
Destiny does indeed favor those who are outcasts of the "greener grassed world",
This coma that defines me unwillingly
This coma...

Hate me

Hate me,

For the very reason you loved me at first,

For the day the night took over,

For the atmosphere made of no breathable air,

Hate me,

For the friends I keep dearly hidden

The love you show so bluntly

Giving senseless thoughts to my whole,

For the beating in a heart that knew tenderness and care,

Hate me,

For this clone of a human being you made out of me,

For the endless tortures my soul could bare long enough,

Long enough to know where your love really lies,

Hate me,

Hate me the way I adore hating you,

The morning you ripped out my heart

As he took on what was his and left through the shattered windows,

For making me sick with every picture a memory awakened,

I hate the hate of thought of whatever little love I had of you,

The stain my body will know forever, the stranger I let in my very house! 

I saw a stranger today

I saw this stranger today,

With eyes that looked as haunted

Fresh off the sunshines of a world not known,

Love - falling of a human I am,

I saw a stranger today,

who knew the past like a God in a faceless image,

Jealous of the walls surrounding the house I am in,

Prison of those who fell on love's path,

I saw a stranger today,

Who saw all the tales my heart told quietly,

A melody that drifted worlds apart

A melody that heals with the many years that pass by,

I saw a stranger today,

A mirror image of the human that fell on love's path,

Vintage with the moon that showed promise to the world he was in,

Screaming for help with no one to catch his tears,

I saw a stranger today,

He told me to whisper to you that today is another chapter

Of a book where you exist no longer,

A story book of a stranger who fell on love's path,

A story book of a breading of a new human in love's path.

I waited

I waited,

For the promises of a Kingdom you made in Summer,

For the bottled happiness potion that you brewed from my nothingness,

Counting the stars from a starless sky,

I kept my promises as you kept yours,

I waited,

For you to be the hero that you promised to be,

Male figure from the descendants of our land soil,

A mother among worthless mother figures I knew quite well,

Knowing that my wait is not in vein,

I waited,

For you to fix my heart the way you fix lost souls,

For you to heal the coldness I got from this warmful place,

For you to be the definition of love I never knew,

The God of my world, the lord among my Lords,

I waited,
For you to care the way you cared 15 years ago,
For you to show me the colors of a rainbow I never knew,
For you to be everything,
I waited upon you as pure as a dove in the sky,

I waited,
To care, to love, to doubt, to scare my nightmares,
Your presence is just a miracle sinfully to my being,
I waited,
I waited ...

Why I love you...

I broke every bone in my body,

As I stared at your broken divine and perfectness,

Knowing exactly that heaven's door is just next to you,

Instead you stood right here next to this nothing,

I saw how you broke your wings,

For the creature of endless flaws,

Accepted everything I was and not,

With a great big pile of hate 

I loved you like the sun rise in a dark morning,

I sat with you for three... four... ten million seconds,

Making sure time knew very well to remember this day,

Much like leap year,

I noticed time skipping for the heart you and I shared,

I asked the man in the mirror why I love you,

He stared at me with eyes that brought hate and sensitivity,

I walked back to the day I knew I did,

No clues were left in that unsolved criminal act,

...

In Once Upon My Fairy Tale

In once upon my fairy tale,

A deacon prince like a unicorn covered in a horses cloak,

With eyes that looked as dangerous as a haunting ghost,

And with a fierce body far well developed than Goliath,

He was a true reflection of my fairy tale's perfect ending,

In once upon my fairy tale,

I looked at thy like he had descended from the skies above,

My hero with a reflection of an ordinary man,

He noticed my vague glare and decided to turn his heart the other way,

As princesses who ruled him were near him like death near tombs,

In once upon my fairy tale,

He stepped in the forest that once I had decided to take a stand,

A stand from this wolf eating my heart within,

I stared at the ground as he stared my way,

Shivered that this moment would be taken to light delight,

In once upon my fairy tale,

He came close and whispered to me his clan name,

As the moon drew closer to where we had stood,

He looked at me like I was a diamond he feared would blow away,

Blow away with every feeling he closed inside

with every gut he never showed,

I was the sunlight to the flowers that stood right next to me,

In once upon my fairy tale,

This prince of mine dragged me to a hole he single-handedly build,
A prison for all the hearts he had collected,

With his look like silver gold,

I walked into the darkness in a mindful state,

Blindfolded of my surrounding, sightful of the love he knew I had,

In once upon my fairy tale,

I came out of the darkness full of sinful foolishness,

Like he had known I was nothing but a tool of hopeless dreams,

Today I learned that my story is just a story,

A story to educate that princes are devious than the devil himself.

The way you taught me

I long to hate the way you taught me,
I wanna learn how to love the way you taught me, 
I long to remember the man you used to be, 
I wanna learn how to be soft as you are, 

I don't wanna grieve for you, 
But wanna lie there right beside you, 
A war that no human can bring apart,
The war in me of the love I have for this thing you are,

I wanna come for you when you're a million years ahead,
I wanna break hearts the way you torn mine,
I know there is room there in you for two,
Make me be there when I grieve for you,
Make me be the victim you thought I was once upon a fairy-tale,

Make me beg for your mercy,
Make me scream like life you are and this hate I adore very much,
I long to hate the way you taught me, 

I wanna love the way you taught me...

A Boy's Love

A boy's love, 

Sweeter than the taste of honey, 

Brighter than any ancestral lamp, 

Hits better than any track on Queen B's album, 

Foresees the future of the dammed in the joys of life, 

A boy's love, 

Moving around the universe on a class of its own, 

Owning all that is left of pure heart, 

Breading life in it the way flowers bloom in spring, 

A boy's love, 

The Center of the rehabilitated on loves path, 

Destroying hate like pesticides on poral ground, 

Much like fire on a witches stake, 

I feel myself freed each time I am near it, 

My boy's love, 

Cold as the gale winds on a winters day, 

Destroys all that is good and worthy to exist, 

Tastes as bitter as lemon juice, 

Foresees nothing but the burdens yet to come, 

A boy's love, 

The living hell on Earth's very surface, 

Darker than storm clouds in the Amazon, 

Kills with no shame or regret, 

A boy's love, 

Builds hate faster than the falling of walls in Jericho, 

Makes mountains look small from beneath their very surface, 

Even death is a plate served warm in despite of this terrible curse.

I promise...

I promise…

With every dying breath in me,

To remind you of a future we had long before this present,

To love you unwillingly, to die for you,

To feel you a million centuries away,

I promise…

To be with you, to live by you,

To be afraid with you, be strong for you,

To keep you from the sharp nails life offers,

I promise…

To say “I love you” when you are not around,

Give you the world, give you this holy temple of mine,

To give you a family, make you feel like the luckiest man alive,

Give you riches beyond man’s imagination,

I promise…

To cure you from any monster that haunts you,

To be your lamp in the most darkest of hours,

Put back the light in your blindful eyes,

I promise…

I will find you wherever you are,

Save you from this bogus dream of mine,

Face reality with only you as my shield,

I promise…

To die with you, to praise with you,

To save that tender love you adore so very well,

If only you were here to find me,

I would have known what to promise next.

I left the closet today

I left the closet today, 
Learning the vivid from the haziness, 
With a heart more patient in rhythm, 
I feel my soul rushing from a body disembodied, 

I left the closet today, 
With monsters drawing me backwardly in, 
Screaming for hopelessness to nothing real,
Bogus adornment to this box man made,

I left the closet today,
To breathe more lighter air, find grasses greener than those I am aware,
Put all my faith in the one among nations,
To bring back the light of day, the sunset in the East,

I left the closet today,
As I did, I never knew what to expect,
Funny did I know the very thing I thought would happen
The very thing wished upon and does eventually happen

Mother's love

She carries the world on her shoulders,

Carries nothing but the strength she inherited as a youngster,

A remarkable inspiration to those who are hero-less,

Mother to anything that breaths air and has life,

A constant reminder that dreams are not for the faint hearted,

She holds a knife in its sharpest point and feels nothing,

She is theory of God's love to the species of superiority

Mother nature to the smallest and most largest species,

I never knew that heroes could also exist in this world,
When she looks at me I feel the world stopping
Stopping to feel a presence of me... like she always saw it!
Without any doubt I call her mother,
Like the love I knew while occupying her belly,

She is more tougher than the great wall of china,
Stands the path of time like she was brewed with the finest of whines,
She builds a home from a few dew tree sticks,
Better knowing the remedy of an unhappy heart,

I pledge to you young girls and women roaming this world,
Your time too shall come to be a mother upon the motherless,
Learn the ways of the warriors before you whilst present,
Carry in you a Mother's Love, one may need to remember!

Stoned emotions

How true is this God I was taught to know

How well do I know Him and his wonderful humor? 

I saw a God and it wasn't even in the image I had thought, 

This one had a ponytail and eyes as brown as a night with stars under the moonlight 

The one who lite a room like rainbows in the dessert,

Dizzy to focus,  Dizzy to even take that one million dollar glance

At this.. This beast that is able to make everything seem like so less...  So much, 

The list of bed stories of a man who had tags enough to destroy the walls of Jericho, 

Stranger in a stranger's bubble

So, a minute was all he had needed, 

Brave enough to face the goddess with the courage of Simon and strength of David, 

With nothing loose in this hazy world  of ours, 

He stood next to her like he was destined for her presence,

She glared at him the way Medusa would have, 

Turning every emotion to stone,  killing the man he was, 

Well... This man that he had hoped  to be, 

Like Jews on their knees, he begged for his soul, 

Soul ripped off and sold like gold on a beggars path.

Down on my knees

I have been brought down to my knees,

This heavy weight I carry on my toe nails,

Gravity pushing harder on me like I was a universe in one,

Earth is more than just a home to me now,

I have been brought down to my knees,

My ankles paining from the smooth life I live,

With this hole I dig myself, I bury this misery,

With a funny tag screaming in me 

"LOVE SHOULDN'T HURT"

Playing along like this was one big game,

I have been brought down to my knees,

To face the giants that made me smile one day,

How dry I felt that day,

With lust that made me loose myself,

Free me if you are there... Feel this pain I carry,

I have been brought down to my knees,

Terrified to love, bound to this dying world I belong,

With rivers turning to blood as I walk by,

What an incredible performance I give the world,

I have been brought down to my knees,

To learn the ways of my ancestral tradition,

Much like the ace of spades,

I am worth half the truth in your apologies,

I am more than what the universe could offer,

On my knees I will survive.

Emptiness

He came to me like dust underneath my bedroom mat,

He hid perfectly under my unbuttoned bed,

Lashing my soul for all the goodness I had given to fermented hearts,

The man I had chosen to be my knight and shinning amour,

He emerged like hail winds on a sunny day,

Reminding me of how I still was of flesh and blood,

With my heart torn into three hundred billion pieces,

My mind, my body – still like the Indian ocean beneath the Earth,

Happiness is what I knew that day,

Constant reminders of the wrongs I had done to be in the right,

He never showed me any mercy, He was strong hearted and so was I,

He held me like I was a diamond once, a ruby worth the nothinglessness of this haven,

But today He held me again… even far better than what I’d do to Satan himself,

He ripped everything on me,

The rose I had carried in my hair half my life,

Eight worst hours that I single-handedly kept count minute by minute,

Hoping that God would appear to me and take me home,

When he met his end, my beginning was just on its take off,

Leaving me to deal with my fairy-tale stories and beliefs,

Perhaps I never knew princes could also rob the guilty,

Rob them of their innocence, human nature and sin…

The Item

I went out in the wilderness,

Among scary creatures of the night,

Serpents of the underworld, shadows lurking in one's nightmares,

In search for the one thing I though was mine,

An item I knew would bring light to my feet,

In hand, my heart and humanity,

I walked as though I had strength only a real hero would know,

Like a soldier, I had no fear!

Even with the scary stories I had been told

I was Sparta, 

As I walked, searching for this divine item,

I would hear sounds of lions,

Claiming the land in which I had invaded,

A mission I had no intentions of failing,

I continued to walk,

Feeling myself drawn to this emptiness I had drawn myself to,

I came across a black Cadillac,
Inside it was a mirror image of what my dark side was,
I looked at all the shame I had drawn to myself,
In this car, I had life crawling with beetles and snakes,
In this car, I had real knowledge of what I meant,

As I continued on this never-ending quest of mine,
I realized long after I had sold my soul to this wilderness,
The very item I was searching for, above the very trees I never looked,
Lied the stillness of rays, the very item I was claiming for.

A man in glasses

Some say they want muscle,

Some say they want abs and cars,

But I want to be with a man with glasses,

The type that sits by a computer so to see the monitor in a billion pixels,

With glasses that would reflect the light emitted to you\

 Like you were there next to him,

The type that sits all alone in an office cubicle and wonders what life is like,

A man full of adventures in his extra big eyesight,

I want a type of man that supports his family and friends

As he read the world in his shiny brown specs,

The type that has tattoos on his face and a matching scary look in his eyes

With his black shades on,

A man that would sit after a test was written and careless about what would happen

'Cause he looks cool in his nerdy eye caretakers,

With specs that would show how serious he takes himself

As though he was never taken seriously in his life,

I want to be with a man who wears frames from all over the world

Uniting the nations as they once were,

A man who models with nothing but his shades,

Some say they want abs

But what would abs be without his fierce bifocals,

A man, a car and nerdy googles,
Nothing is better than a man who sees you for the real you,

Double glazing you with the look that would cost Trump more than his worth.

Emotions in me

         

They call me names because I am a creature of love,

They call me names because I am 101% full of emotion,

I cry because all I see or feel is what others are supposed to see or feel,

My vision is suppressed with the burdens of another,

Though yes, I admit... It must be all because I am a flesh full of emotions,

Sometimes this body of mine yarns a tiny bit of oxygen,

To escape the steel rods that burden me with this unforeseen foolishness,

 Foolishness of this plague that has been boasted in me, 

That has been carved within my very flesh and soul,

I learn though, little by little that this all too shall pass,

The pain bare in me and this inhuman humanity I have been given birth to,

Its not because I bare this sickening emotion in me,

Its not because I had been given a title I never dream or neither hoped for,

Its because with all the years that pass, I grow, and I grow...

Oh yes, I grow and become a man that will look in the mirror and and say;

The glory of God is yet within me, as living proof that it is not with love or emotion I feel in me,
but the presence of our very own God

Beating the walls inside me crying and screaming for help

And believing that I might be more than more anyone has ever been compared to,

That finally the test that was bestowed on me will finally pass with me not having to pass,

But yet I still believe with this tiny voice I have, hell screams over and wonders again,

Wonder if it will ever be close enough to capture me and win me over,

Hell is the Earth and all the people in it

As they as well push the buttons till eventually the volcano in me erupts!